Strange

How life works!


Let me start off by saying that while I did say that Mishmash wouldn't be focused on cancer and the implants, it is about me and that is a part of who I am now so today we are actually going to go back to focusing on my foobs. That is what I am going to call them from now on. Fake + boobs=foobs :)

So I start with this. At the PJ Party, one of my dear friends and another devoted GS leader, said to me at about 12:30 as we were telling the girls to head in to the movie that I should watch it cause if I fell asleep she would freeze my bra! I looked at her and honestly for a second I was like crap…and then I thought HA, I have foobs!!! And laughed and said what do I care? And she laughed because we had forgotten. It was so weird because for an instant I had forgotten about the foobs and that was so nice, I was just feeling normal, and then I got to feel even better! But see that is just one of the many perks of having foobs, I no longer have to worry at slumber parties about the dreaded frozen bra trick.....LOL...I mean I no longer have to worry about bras and it really is liberating. It felt so nice to be reminded that I didn't need one. Don't get me wrong, I still actually wear one sometimes, but only to exercise or if I have to because my scar is showing through.
That is something that does bother me, the scars, and while I get they are ‘badges of honor’, so to speak, they are really inconveniently located ya know :P ...and maybe over time they will fade, I do hope so because I would like to be able to just wear a tank top....that was kind of the goal!

See lately I have felt bad about how the foobs looked and now I figure they look just fine if she forgot about them!  But still, I have felt this strange, need almost, to have an actual non-athletic style bra to wear if needed. Maybe because I thought they weren't looking right.  They do look forgein in the mirror, and maybe that has to do with the fipples, but that's a different post:) Back to the bras, it has not been a successful endeavor, much like the swimsuit shopping which I was happy about starting and then finding something and now has turned into not actually being able to get what I want at all and possibly turning to sewing it... But I was feeling very depressed. While I am happy to be alive with the foobs...I don't know...maybe it was somehow feeling less like a woman in that I couldn't wear what women are "supposed to'' wear...bras and a swimsuit top.....anyway. It was just a bad thing and I was honestly feeling very alone in it too...until recently.

I found a group on FB, yes, I am addicted to FB. I freely admit it:) Anyway I found a group about mastectomies and foobs and a woman had just found it and posted her link to her diary of her foobs and her feeling exactly like I did. EXACTLY. It of course made me cry...but they were mostly tears of joy and that was nice, because I feel so much more at peace about them, the foobs that is, than I have in a long time. Long being relative but you know what I mean:)

Anyway, I titled it strange because....it just is. How FB has literally connected me to so many women I would have never known about that have each touched me in such an amazing and unique way that has helped me make it through this journey. Geeze...now I'm thanking FB!!!! I am becoming such a sentimental sap! And then how my life keeps working where I have dear friends who remind me just when I need it of the perks of my life now, even when they don’t know I need it!

Hope you have a nice Sunday afternoon. I am going to enjoy some Blue Skies and a local winery with Ed.

Blog ya later-
K