Am I glad to to see 2009? Yes, yes and YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
2008 was just plain.....oh how shall I put this....sucky.
Now, don't get me wrong, there were good times.....ok, I have to be honest at this point, I am having a hard time recalling any...of course the girls are healthy and have grown more and changed each second but .....well, you know what I mean, right?
I could do a laundry list of the bad things that have happened this year but instead I think I will just say that I am happy it is over(if you really want to know you can check the blog archive for most of them).
I am ready to start off this new year with a new me....and I do mean that literally since there are whole new parts that will be added soon enough. That and....I am soooooooo very happy about this coming Friday and saying bye-bye to the port. That will start the year off right I think:) And next week I get the new ta-tas and then the journey of "How big will K be?" begins:D
I am a bit more apprehensive about it as it gets closer and I think about it and how the stretching of not just the skin but the muscles too will feel, but....I can honestly say now that I do want boobies. For a while the idea of just not having to deal with them appealed to me, but not any more. I miss the definition they gave to my turtlenecks(yes, they really don't fit well at all without boobs!!!!The things you learn, huh?) and I even miss the motion of them...the gentle swing, or not so gentle depending on how fast I moved(but you get the idea), of them when I would roll over, bend over...ok breathe even....it's a strange empty space feeling there still and I am glad I experienced that first because I think it will make me even happier with my new ones:)
Oh yes....I am ready to be blond again too.....and for it to be long.....I miss my hair, especially when its cold outside.
I am even ready to start exercising full force, in fact I'm kind of craving it.....and that is a strangely hilarious thought as I don't particularly like to exercise. I enjoy playing sports and being active but I dread just "routine" exercise....it's boring to me. So the fact that I want to do it...well...that just means it really is a new me....or maybe its just the "New Year's Resolution time" thing that's happening in my brain:P Regardless...I want to do it and I will try and be patient as the next few weeks drag on and I can't yet.
Mostly though I just want to live. To wake each morning and enjoy the smell of the coffee brewing. To smile as I watch the girls head to the bus stop and ponder how amazing they are and how fast they have grown. To kiss Ed as he heads to work and then to settle in with Sasha and watch the morning shows as I scratch her head and surf the net. To live every day as best I can and waste time only when I'm with my kids, since then it's not really a waste:) To love everyone who comes into my life because they are there for a reason.....ok, that one may be hard, maybe just to love that they came into my life. To do the things that make me happy and not worry about what makes everyone else happy. To be happy being me. To live.
And so with that I wish you all a very Happy New Year. I thank you all again for being a part of my life and even if it wasn't the best thing that brought you here, I am still glad you came along with me on this journey, of course I do hope that we never go down this particular fork in the road again but....I am still glad you all were here.
Thank you for being my friends............yeah I'm singing the Golden Girls theme now...are you?
Blog ya later-
K
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Buh bye port!!!!!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
So I called today to see if we could coordinate the "get the stupid port outta me" surgery with the reconstruction surgery but it was not to be....I didn't really think it would work anyway but I had to try. However, they did suggest that I either do it before or wait a month or so....I am pretty sure you all could have guessed what my response to that would have been regardless of my title:) So I am having it taken out at 9am on Jan 2nd..Happy New Year!!!!!
I am so excited about it....seems kind of silly when you look at the big picture but honestly it has been the most annoying part of the whole thing! Even now it just bugs me being there, I can feel it poking at my skin and I can't completely sleep comfortably on my side because it is there...sticking out...ugh...so I am happy, happy, happy.....doin' a happy dance I am:)
oh yes....a few other notes....
1-my poor B is sick and we are hoping that she gets better like..now so we can go to the lake for Christmas.
2-I have been on an emotional roller coaster for no apparent reason that I can think of other than that I am getting my hormones back and...yay!!!(and thankfully Ed is happy about that too and so bearing with my irrational emotions!)
3-Apparently now that I have hair(super, super short hair) I must wear earrings at all times because when I was at the store with Lexi on Sat. the girl at the checkout called me sir.......yeah.....SIR.......fortunately I didn't hear it, because I don't know what I would have said to that but Lexi did and made sure to tell me(thanks Lex) as we left. Granted I have very short hair and no boobage at the moment but.....c'mon.....I have a feminine face...and voice and....sheesh, its giving me a complex now!
4-I don't know what I did to the blog...ok I do, I tried to add another sidebar column on here and it didn't work so well so I lost a lot of my stuff....which I will try and replace when I have some more time.
Hope you all have stayed warm through this deep freeze of late.
Bog ya later-
K
So I called today to see if we could coordinate the "get the stupid port outta me" surgery with the reconstruction surgery but it was not to be....I didn't really think it would work anyway but I had to try. However, they did suggest that I either do it before or wait a month or so....I am pretty sure you all could have guessed what my response to that would have been regardless of my title:) So I am having it taken out at 9am on Jan 2nd..Happy New Year!!!!!
I am so excited about it....seems kind of silly when you look at the big picture but honestly it has been the most annoying part of the whole thing! Even now it just bugs me being there, I can feel it poking at my skin and I can't completely sleep comfortably on my side because it is there...sticking out...ugh...so I am happy, happy, happy.....doin' a happy dance I am:)
oh yes....a few other notes....
1-my poor B is sick and we are hoping that she gets better like..now so we can go to the lake for Christmas.
2-I have been on an emotional roller coaster for no apparent reason that I can think of other than that I am getting my hormones back and...yay!!!(and thankfully Ed is happy about that too and so bearing with my irrational emotions!)
3-Apparently now that I have hair(super, super short hair) I must wear earrings at all times because when I was at the store with Lexi on Sat. the girl at the checkout called me sir.......yeah.....SIR.......fortunately I didn't hear it, because I don't know what I would have said to that but Lexi did and made sure to tell me(thanks Lex) as we left. Granted I have very short hair and no boobage at the moment but.....c'mon.....I have a feminine face...and voice and....sheesh, its giving me a complex now!
4-I don't know what I did to the blog...ok I do, I tried to add another sidebar column on here and it didn't work so well so I lost a lot of my stuff....which I will try and replace when I have some more time.
Hope you all have stayed warm through this deep freeze of late.
Bog ya later-
K
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Clinical Trial
I realized that although I have talked about this in person and in emails I have never blogged about it so here goes!
I am taking part in a clinical trial now. When they did the original trials for bio-phosphates, like Boniva, one of the side effects was that it seemed to help women who had survived breast cancer from having it reoccur and later metastasize in their bones. Now, because this was an unintended and unexpected side effect they are not sure if it was a fluke or something that could hold possibilities of actually doing just that in the future. Therefore, they are now doing a clinical trial to see if that was a true result. They are enrolling 4500 breast cancer survivors and each of them will get one of three bio-phosphate medicines for 3 years and then be followed for....well I'm not sure about that part, but I assume forever and at least there will be no placebos.
I am doing this for several reasons.
First, as a helpful preventative measure. Generally when cancer comes back, first it goes to the same boob(ok, gone), then the next boob(same answer) and then the bones(still have those or I'd be Jabba). So, I am hoping that since I have kind of eliminated those first two steps this will help me never have to deal with that last one.
Second, since these drugs are good for your bones....well, nuff said, who couldn't use that?
Third, I have always felt that if a trial came up that I could take part in I would because that is how we find out which drugs work and which don't. Now....I will qualify that by saying that I wouldn't expose myself to something that I thought was dangerous or unproven. I do appreciate those people who do the trials without knowing anything of the side effects or outcomes of any given drug, they are far braver than I. But this trial can only be beneficial in my mind and so I am doing it.
Fourth, and this is really key....my kind of cancer tends to come back, if it's going to, within the first three years. After that the rates of recurrence drop off so drastically that by 8 years out it has a 0...yes that is a zero, statistic for coming back....weird huh? So I figure the more help I can get in these next three years the better.
So I was randomized(the computer put me in the trial and then selected my drug for me) and the arm I am in requires me to take 1600 mg of a drug once a day for three years....I can do that...piece of cake comparatively speaking to the past 6 months:)
Tomorrow I start the pills and begin the journey to strengthen my bones and hopefully help me along the way to never having to do this again.
And that is that.
Now, having said all that...there are possible side effects, but I am confident and hopeful(I know, I know...kind of contradictory) that I will not have any and if I do that they will be mild. And...if they aren't, well I am not going to hurt myself for this study either and my Dr. told me from the get-go that if I did have problems she wouldn't want me to continue in it, so I feel very comfortable with the whole thing.
And on a similar but different note, yes...I am getting rid of the port as soon as I can too. Since I was not put into the arm of the trial that had to be administered via IV I am not gonna keep it. And I am sure none of you are shocked by that:) So now I see if I can coordinate that with the reconstruction surgery(wouldn't that be wonderful?) and if not, which ...honestly, I am not really thinking that will happen, so if it doesn't then we just schedule it for when he can do it.
Anyway, now am off to bed as it was a day of class parties and school concerts and I am plum tuckered out:)
Hope you all are well and staying warm/dry/sane this week:)
Blog ya later-
K
I am taking part in a clinical trial now. When they did the original trials for bio-phosphates, like Boniva, one of the side effects was that it seemed to help women who had survived breast cancer from having it reoccur and later metastasize in their bones. Now, because this was an unintended and unexpected side effect they are not sure if it was a fluke or something that could hold possibilities of actually doing just that in the future. Therefore, they are now doing a clinical trial to see if that was a true result. They are enrolling 4500 breast cancer survivors and each of them will get one of three bio-phosphate medicines for 3 years and then be followed for....well I'm not sure about that part, but I assume forever and at least there will be no placebos.
I am doing this for several reasons.
First, as a helpful preventative measure. Generally when cancer comes back, first it goes to the same boob(ok, gone), then the next boob(same answer) and then the bones(still have those or I'd be Jabba). So, I am hoping that since I have kind of eliminated those first two steps this will help me never have to deal with that last one.
Second, since these drugs are good for your bones....well, nuff said, who couldn't use that?
Third, I have always felt that if a trial came up that I could take part in I would because that is how we find out which drugs work and which don't. Now....I will qualify that by saying that I wouldn't expose myself to something that I thought was dangerous or unproven. I do appreciate those people who do the trials without knowing anything of the side effects or outcomes of any given drug, they are far braver than I. But this trial can only be beneficial in my mind and so I am doing it.
Fourth, and this is really key....my kind of cancer tends to come back, if it's going to, within the first three years. After that the rates of recurrence drop off so drastically that by 8 years out it has a 0...yes that is a zero, statistic for coming back....weird huh? So I figure the more help I can get in these next three years the better.
So I was randomized(the computer put me in the trial and then selected my drug for me) and the arm I am in requires me to take 1600 mg of a drug once a day for three years....I can do that...piece of cake comparatively speaking to the past 6 months:)
Tomorrow I start the pills and begin the journey to strengthen my bones and hopefully help me along the way to never having to do this again.
And that is that.
Now, having said all that...there are possible side effects, but I am confident and hopeful(I know, I know...kind of contradictory) that I will not have any and if I do that they will be mild. And...if they aren't, well I am not going to hurt myself for this study either and my Dr. told me from the get-go that if I did have problems she wouldn't want me to continue in it, so I feel very comfortable with the whole thing.
And on a similar but different note, yes...I am getting rid of the port as soon as I can too. Since I was not put into the arm of the trial that had to be administered via IV I am not gonna keep it. And I am sure none of you are shocked by that:) So now I see if I can coordinate that with the reconstruction surgery(wouldn't that be wonderful?) and if not, which ...honestly, I am not really thinking that will happen, so if it doesn't then we just schedule it for when he can do it.
Anyway, now am off to bed as it was a day of class parties and school concerts and I am plum tuckered out:)
Hope you all are well and staying warm/dry/sane this week:)
Blog ya later-
K
Monday, December 15, 2008
Onward
Well...today was interesting ...and its only 2!!!!
I awoke at 5 this morning to both of our cells and the home phone ringing to inform us that Ed had no school today and so I laid there for about 1/2 hour waiting for the kids school to get cancelled and finally I gave up and was just about to drift to sleep when boom the double whammy again of multiple phones going off and the recording saying they had no school too. Which was fine, I personally wanted to sleep in so it worked out just great after that :) Of course that does mean that everyone was home today and I had a whole list of things to get done.....but we'll survive and I can do them tomorrow:)( ok, ok...I am doing some of them now while the girls watch a movie but we did play cards already)
However, I also went into my oncologist to get blood work done and a checkup before starting in a study. It went well. They marveled at my hair:) and at how well I was doing, and then told me I was nuts when I told them what I had done last week and all the activities of this week....I don't know why...that's what moms do ya know:) Anyhoo...they couldn't get any blood through my port............................................................I'm not happy about that. You all know how much I hate it and how it still bothers me and yet...it doesn't freakin' work?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH. So they had to draw from my arm, which was fine, I am fairly used to being poked, prodded and sucked dry(J/K) by now, so it wasn't that big of a deal, just annoying since the whole point of the port was so I wouldn't have to have them try and find a vein! Fortunately the nurse was very skilled and so far not a smidgen of bruising(and yes, I knocked on wood right after I typed that anyway). So now we wait for the tests to come back clean(and non-pregnant, which it better be or you can call me Mary.....) and then they will enroll me in the study and we will find out which meds I will get and start on Wed.
On a similar topic, I was "introduced", via one of my online cancer groups, to a young man who is going to be traveling across the country visiting colleges and speaking to there and to sororities about breast cancer. His tour is titled, "Kicking Breast Cancer's Butt Across America", which I just love, and the idea of it is one that I think is so very important. He is doing a video blog of his experience and you can follow him on www.thebrandonshow.com or on Twitter(me too there btw). The main reason, other than to support him, that I am including this in my post is because he asked me what my 5 most significant blog posts were and send them to him so he could share those and maybe have them help him personalize his presentation a bit more. And I need your help to decide which ones those are!!!!
Sooooooooo...please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee help me by letting me know which posts you liked the most or which posts you thought were most important for others to hear/read so that I can pass these along before he starts his tour this winter. Thanks in advance.
Ok...so it is now 4:04 and I am finally finishing this post......that's all I will say on that:D
Hope everyone is staying warm today.
Blog ya later-
K
I awoke at 5 this morning to both of our cells and the home phone ringing to inform us that Ed had no school today and so I laid there for about 1/2 hour waiting for the kids school to get cancelled and finally I gave up and was just about to drift to sleep when boom the double whammy again of multiple phones going off and the recording saying they had no school too. Which was fine, I personally wanted to sleep in so it worked out just great after that :) Of course that does mean that everyone was home today and I had a whole list of things to get done.....but we'll survive and I can do them tomorrow:)( ok, ok...I am doing some of them now while the girls watch a movie but we did play cards already)
However, I also went into my oncologist to get blood work done and a checkup before starting in a study. It went well. They marveled at my hair:) and at how well I was doing, and then told me I was nuts when I told them what I had done last week and all the activities of this week....I don't know why...that's what moms do ya know:) Anyhoo...they couldn't get any blood through my port............................................................I'm not happy about that. You all know how much I hate it and how it still bothers me and yet...it doesn't freakin' work?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH. So they had to draw from my arm, which was fine, I am fairly used to being poked, prodded and sucked dry(J/K) by now, so it wasn't that big of a deal, just annoying since the whole point of the port was so I wouldn't have to have them try and find a vein! Fortunately the nurse was very skilled and so far not a smidgen of bruising(and yes, I knocked on wood right after I typed that anyway). So now we wait for the tests to come back clean(and non-pregnant, which it better be or you can call me Mary.....) and then they will enroll me in the study and we will find out which meds I will get and start on Wed.
On a similar topic, I was "introduced", via one of my online cancer groups, to a young man who is going to be traveling across the country visiting colleges and speaking to there and to sororities about breast cancer. His tour is titled, "Kicking Breast Cancer's Butt Across America", which I just love, and the idea of it is one that I think is so very important. He is doing a video blog of his experience and you can follow him on www.thebrandonshow.com or on Twitter(me too there btw). The main reason, other than to support him, that I am including this in my post is because he asked me what my 5 most significant blog posts were and send them to him so he could share those and maybe have them help him personalize his presentation a bit more. And I need your help to decide which ones those are!!!!
Sooooooooo...please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeee help me by letting me know which posts you liked the most or which posts you thought were most important for others to hear/read so that I can pass these along before he starts his tour this winter. Thanks in advance.
Ok...so it is now 4:04 and I am finally finishing this post......that's all I will say on that:D
Hope everyone is staying warm today.
Blog ya later-
K
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Bareheaded
I did not wear any type of head covering in public today!!!!!!
It was a big step for me. Many of you have seen a glimpse of my hair at certain points when I have momentarily lifted my hat off or if you have been by my house, but today I went totally free all day...and....(this is the important part) I went places!!!!!!!
I went on a field trip to the Magic House, to two grocery stores and church with my bare head. And it was nice. I really don't like hats...and frankly scarves even less. So I have decided that I am done with them...except for outside when it's cold...or sunny and I need a visor in the summer, but that's it!
Stay warm.
Blog ya later-
K
It was a big step for me. Many of you have seen a glimpse of my hair at certain points when I have momentarily lifted my hat off or if you have been by my house, but today I went totally free all day...and....(this is the important part) I went places!!!!!!!
I went on a field trip to the Magic House, to two grocery stores and church with my bare head. And it was nice. I really don't like hats...and frankly scarves even less. So I have decided that I am done with them...except for outside when it's cold...or sunny and I need a visor in the summer, but that's it!
Stay warm.
Blog ya later-
K
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I'm a hairy monster!
I am...no, really...I am, and....I am so hormonal its crazy....but, it's all good because that truly just means my body is getting back to normal....still waiting on that visit from Aunt Flo...but I am not minding that as much:)
Anyway..by hairy I mean everywhere but my head! Not that my hair there isn't coming along, it is, in fact I am hoping that by the New Year I will be going hat less unless its cold! But hair is coming in on my face and neck.....granted it is blonder than blonde and finer than fine, but......I can see it even if no one else can...ya know? I feel like I have aged a ton suddenly because that is not supposed to happen until I am much older and can't see well enough to care that my face is hairy!!!!!
The hormones are a similar story in that I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster everyday! I wonder if this is just the real me coming out since it's the first time(except when pregnant or breast feeding) in 15 years that I haven't been on birth control.....hmmm, regardless, I cry all the time..literally....all the time. I started crying today walking down the hallway at the girl's elementary school on the way to the copy room! "Why, did something happen?" you might ask....nope. I was just walking...seeing the older kids(who were dressed in 18th century clothes today) in the hall helping younger kids with reading, all the teachers in the classes I passed engaging the kids and a couple of smiling urchins bopping down the halls themselves and this sudden feeling of overwhelming thankfulness and happiness that my children were able to be here and participate made me cry......just like every commercial does...
I need to buy stock in Kleenex.
Anyway....hope you all are well.
Blog ya later-
K
Anyway..by hairy I mean everywhere but my head! Not that my hair there isn't coming along, it is, in fact I am hoping that by the New Year I will be going hat less unless its cold! But hair is coming in on my face and neck.....granted it is blonder than blonde and finer than fine, but......I can see it even if no one else can...ya know? I feel like I have aged a ton suddenly because that is not supposed to happen until I am much older and can't see well enough to care that my face is hairy!!!!!
The hormones are a similar story in that I feel like I'm on this emotional roller coaster everyday! I wonder if this is just the real me coming out since it's the first time(except when pregnant or breast feeding) in 15 years that I haven't been on birth control.....hmmm, regardless, I cry all the time..literally....all the time. I started crying today walking down the hallway at the girl's elementary school on the way to the copy room! "Why, did something happen?" you might ask....nope. I was just walking...seeing the older kids(who were dressed in 18th century clothes today) in the hall helping younger kids with reading, all the teachers in the classes I passed engaging the kids and a couple of smiling urchins bopping down the halls themselves and this sudden feeling of overwhelming thankfulness and happiness that my children were able to be here and participate made me cry......just like every commercial does...
I need to buy stock in Kleenex.
Anyway....hope you all are well.
Blog ya later-
K
Sunday, December 7, 2008
7 left
7 what, you may ask....and I would say, "Events to survive....until break."
Today we had our Brownie holiday party and it was great. The girls enjoyed it I think. We did some songs, crafts, cookies, a gift exchange and that was about it. A couple of moms stayed and that helped immensely. I think it will in fact become an annual tradition!
Sooo..with that one down..I have seven left.
A field trip, a junior meeting, 2 choral performances, Lexi's CCL final presentations, a brownie meeting, 2 class parties, 2 school holiday concerts....which..come to think of it, if you count each of the activities that they have two of...that makes 10!!!!!!
ok..breathing.........no worries..it can all be done. I mean I only have two kids....what happens when you have more?
And I have to finish painting the backdrop for this weekend and make gingerbread house sides...
Yes, I most definitely made the right choice about surgery:)
Oh and I have created a pixie...Belle cut her hair(had it cut I mean...I wouldn't really let her cut her own...yet anyway) to donate to locks of love, the sweetie:) and now has a very cute short little swingy cut. The shortest in back it has been since it was first that length!!!! But she looks adorable and is very happy and that is all that matters anyway.
Hope you had a great weekend.
Blog ya later-
K
Today we had our Brownie holiday party and it was great. The girls enjoyed it I think. We did some songs, crafts, cookies, a gift exchange and that was about it. A couple of moms stayed and that helped immensely. I think it will in fact become an annual tradition!
Sooo..with that one down..I have seven left.
A field trip, a junior meeting, 2 choral performances, Lexi's CCL final presentations, a brownie meeting, 2 class parties, 2 school holiday concerts....which..come to think of it, if you count each of the activities that they have two of...that makes 10!!!!!!
ok..breathing.........no worries..it can all be done. I mean I only have two kids....what happens when you have more?
And I have to finish painting the backdrop for this weekend and make gingerbread house sides...
Yes, I most definitely made the right choice about surgery:)
Oh and I have created a pixie...Belle cut her hair(had it cut I mean...I wouldn't really let her cut her own...yet anyway) to donate to locks of love, the sweetie:) and now has a very cute short little swingy cut. The shortest in back it has been since it was first that length!!!! But she looks adorable and is very happy and that is all that matters anyway.
Hope you had a great weekend.
Blog ya later-
K
Thursday, December 4, 2008
These are the....
Days of Our Lives...ok...I admit it, I am a soap junkie. I don't watch all soaps, only one in fact-Days...but I can pretty much tell you all the characters regardless. That is because for 8 months one year when I was 20 I worked at a Tan Spa as a receptionist. It was a tiny hole in the wall with three beds run by a woman who had won part of her husbands hair salon in the divorce settlement and walled it off and opened a tan "spa"! Soooo...I spent most of my days watching TV. And I learned about all the soaps and the story lines have not changed really...maybe the next generation..but they were all kids back then so I know who they are too....
Anyway, I still watch Days if I am home at 2pm(which was all summer btw). I may do other things while it is on, but none-the-less it is still on. And so I have followed it for a long time and one of the characters has recently been diagnosed with cancer! Lung cancer, which is interesting, but I have a feeling that's because they didn't want to do the typical cancers since the character is a woman, but she was diagnosed in Nov...had a "round" of chemo and they said she was much better. I was like .....ok..is just the soap fast forwarding things...but then more tests..ect..it had spread, she needs a transplant.
Ok..soooo my point is...(sorry but the background was necessary) she said today as she was awaiting more results that all she wanted this year was to be around for one more Christmas........profound for a soap character. At least it was in how it resonated with me.
I feel lately like I have been waking up from a dream that was cancer. This summer..everything that went with it, is still going with it. But...I am starting to feel more like the old me. And yes I do think the hair and eyebrows/lashes has a lot to do with it. I can't imagine what the boobs will do-lol. But its more than that. I just feel like the old me...I think I had been numb..I don't know...anyway..I too am happy to be around this Christmas. For the briefest of times I feared that may not be the case in the beginning, and even now I know it could come back or I could walk outside and get hit by a crazy teenager speeding home after school...and so I am grateful every day to still be around.
Hope everyone is staying warm.
Blog ya later-
K
Anyway, I still watch Days if I am home at 2pm(which was all summer btw). I may do other things while it is on, but none-the-less it is still on. And so I have followed it for a long time and one of the characters has recently been diagnosed with cancer! Lung cancer, which is interesting, but I have a feeling that's because they didn't want to do the typical cancers since the character is a woman, but she was diagnosed in Nov...had a "round" of chemo and they said she was much better. I was like .....ok..is just the soap fast forwarding things...but then more tests..ect..it had spread, she needs a transplant.
Ok..soooo my point is...(sorry but the background was necessary) she said today as she was awaiting more results that all she wanted this year was to be around for one more Christmas........profound for a soap character. At least it was in how it resonated with me.
I feel lately like I have been waking up from a dream that was cancer. This summer..everything that went with it, is still going with it. But...I am starting to feel more like the old me. And yes I do think the hair and eyebrows/lashes has a lot to do with it. I can't imagine what the boobs will do-lol. But its more than that. I just feel like the old me...I think I had been numb..I don't know...anyway..I too am happy to be around this Christmas. For the briefest of times I feared that may not be the case in the beginning, and even now I know it could come back or I could walk outside and get hit by a crazy teenager speeding home after school...and so I am grateful every day to still be around.
Hope everyone is staying warm.
Blog ya later-
K
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Eyelashes
I have 'em and I love 'em wahoo!
I actually used an eyelash curler today...just because I could ya know:) They aren't as long as the old ones were..yet, I'm hoping it's yet anyway:) But regardless, you don't know what you've got till it's gone most definitely applies here! I don't think about my eyelashes often....well hardly ever before anyway. I might curl them because they are long but that is it. I rarely...and by rarely I mean I can actually count the instances on my fingers, of when I have ever worn mascara. It's just not me. I may change my mind in the future of course...we'll see how long these lashes get:D
But....in the meantime...I will just relish that I have them...wahoo:)
Blog ya later-
K
I actually used an eyelash curler today...just because I could ya know:) They aren't as long as the old ones were..yet, I'm hoping it's yet anyway:) But regardless, you don't know what you've got till it's gone most definitely applies here! I don't think about my eyelashes often....well hardly ever before anyway. I might curl them because they are long but that is it. I rarely...and by rarely I mean I can actually count the instances on my fingers, of when I have ever worn mascara. It's just not me. I may change my mind in the future of course...we'll see how long these lashes get:D
But....in the meantime...I will just relish that I have them...wahoo:)
Blog ya later-
K
Monday, December 1, 2008
Snow in the Lou
For those of you from St. Louis, waking up this morning and seeing the light dusting of snow made you all groan if you commute...didn't it?
I love the Lou....I think it is a great place in these days to raise a family..and I already mostly know my way around:P However, like every city, it has it's quirks. And one of the big ones is weather. Not just the fact that it is completely unpredictable from day to day, let alone hour to hour, but it is the fact that somehow weather seems to make people here forget how to drive. I'm not at all kidding on that one.
On a normal morning when I watch the morning news and they give the traffic updates for the "rush", there are 2-5 areas usually, and that doesn't necessarily mean accidents even, just areas where it is slower for some reason. And even occasionally, usually during the summer when there are no school buses and therefore just that much less traffic, there are no areas of concern for a given 20-30 minute time period!
But...you throw in rain, and it is a mess, you throw in a bit....and I do mean bit ...of snow and people panic and drive even worse! The morning commute maps are crazy! The last check up didn't even put everything up because it was too full!!!!!!
Just thought I'd share that with you and my sympathies for those that had to drive in that this morning. I am so very glad these days that I don't:)
Blog ya later-
K
I love the Lou....I think it is a great place in these days to raise a family..and I already mostly know my way around:P However, like every city, it has it's quirks. And one of the big ones is weather. Not just the fact that it is completely unpredictable from day to day, let alone hour to hour, but it is the fact that somehow weather seems to make people here forget how to drive. I'm not at all kidding on that one.
On a normal morning when I watch the morning news and they give the traffic updates for the "rush", there are 2-5 areas usually, and that doesn't necessarily mean accidents even, just areas where it is slower for some reason. And even occasionally, usually during the summer when there are no school buses and therefore just that much less traffic, there are no areas of concern for a given 20-30 minute time period!
But...you throw in rain, and it is a mess, you throw in a bit....and I do mean bit ...of snow and people panic and drive even worse! The morning commute maps are crazy! The last check up didn't even put everything up because it was too full!!!!!!
Just thought I'd share that with you and my sympathies for those that had to drive in that this morning. I am so very glad these days that I don't:)
Blog ya later-
K
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