On this the eve of my two year anniversary of being officially cancer free-aka my bilateral mastectomy.....I am reminded just how lucky I am to be here as...
Every 69 seconds, a woman dies of breast cancer somewhere in the world. #fightbreastcancer at http://69-seconds.org/.
That's scary!
But I am lucky I wasn't one of those and that I am here and I saw a bit of good news today in that women with TNBC and BRCA mutations actually have better odds in the long run which is always nice to hear...of course when you look at the study there were only 3 BRCA2 women in it and from what I could glean with the statistics, one of them relapsed but hey...two out of three thriving isn't bad.....right? (here's the link if you should wish to read http://www.newswise.com/articles/women-with-both-triple-negative-breast-cancer-and-brca-mutations-have-lower-risk-of-recurrence )
Anyway, I have a friend who is going in for her first mammo after BC. She was able to only have a lumpectomy but posted that she was terrified of it and honestly I can't imagine what she is going through waiting to go in and get confirmation again that there is nothing that has come back. In some ways I feel very lucky...I don't have the "boobs" to get the cancer anymore. Of course...cancer is much more cunning than that when it wants to be and it can come back anywhere and even in the tiniest molecule of tissue still attached in my chest if it so decided, I'm not that naive....I'd prefer to just consider myself very optimistic in believing that "we whooped its hide reeeeal gooood" to borrow a classic line! :)
Soooo to sum up...here I sit, still NED after 2 years-woooooohoooooooo! Much more accepting of the foobs( yes, I said accepting, I'm still working on happy....one day I may get there, or I may not and that is a-ok either way) and pretty happy, if still exasperated with the hair at times. I have to admit that I am still liking the "grass is greener" thing with the curls! As someone who had perpetually straight hair it has been awesome to have it curl into perfect ringlets and have them NOT come out when it gets humid but actual curl MORE!!!! It is kind of crazy some days and I am still trying to figure out how to get it to do the pretty curls more regularly but...I really am quite happy still to look in the mirror and see the twists and I haven't missed straight all that much(yes, ok, maybe once or twice but that's really about it ...so far curly rocks!!! )
So as we enter this month dedicated to raising awareness and celebrating those who have fought and won and lost the battle before, I ask you to do one tiny thing for me...feel your boobies and make sure they are good and if you feel anything that is out of the norm then go see your doctor and get it checked out...better to be safe than sorry especially when you see that first statistic I posted!!!! AND this isn't just for women. Although the majority of breast cancer cases are women, men can also get breast cancer and when they do and it is just as devastating and unfortunately more deadly. So EVERYONE check your boobies for me please :)
Tomorrow is just another crazy day full of fieldtrips, walks, fall festivals and probably some minor zaniness thrown in there somewhere to boot but I wouldn't trade it and I am still more happy than anything to be 2:)
Blog ya later-
K
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Times have changed!
Well..last night I spent the night with 15 6th grade girls and another wonderful mom at camp...and survived!!!
I kid, it wasn't that bad. In fact our cabin was quite good and after a few giggle fits and some flashlight "spot-lighting" they were mostly quiet..I only had to go over and stand and frown for a minute before they all really settled in and I heard peaceful breathing by 10:20..which I thought was pretty good! We stayed at a State Park group area that I actually stayed at when I was a fifth grader for a science type thingy! It was somewhat surreal as I stepped into the cabin that I could totally remember and yet the mess hall seemed so small...weird huh? Ok, not so much as all of the girls pointed out to me at breakfast, I was, afterall, smaller back then! But they seemed to be having fun and that was the important thing. It was strange though....they only stay two days and one night! Perhaps I was just very lucky with the district and program and money available that we actually stayed for a week! Left Monday am and returned Friday after lunch. It was a long week but fun and we did really cool stuff and had awesome high school counselors and I suppose that was the true reason it worked so well. Anyway I am still glad they get to do it for however long the program is as I think it is good for the kids to experience things like that and for some bonding to go on..plus...it seemed to level any petty competition as everyone was dirty :)
Then today I read a story about an elementary school in our district that had a "Walk/Bike to School Day" which I thought was very cool and then I thought too bad that it would never happen here! Not because there isn't the desire or willingness...it's merely the obstacles of terrain! The way our elementary is districted is very insane to be frank and quite spread out and there has been a ton of new construction somewhat far flung and there is no safe way those kids could ever walk to school unless they first hiked a cliff! I honestly wouldn't be thrilled about B walking to school either and we live less than a mile away! I feel like such a wuss saying that...I used to cross 270 on Big Bend to get to my house.....270......BIG BEND!!!!! But then again the actual speed limit there is STILL lower than the speed limit on the street she would have to walk along on the way where people are insane in the morning and then then next third doesn't have sidewalks and has a blind corner.....only in the last block...ok, actually honestly there are precisely 2 houses...2!!!! that have sidewalks in front of them before the school and there is a street in between them......it's just not a walking route really. The middle school route is totally fine the other way though...go figure!
It makes me wonder about how things have changed and how we have as a society and how that is influncing how we raise our children and the adults and parents they will become......and I then I just close my eyes and really, really, really, really, really hope that I'm doing ok :)
Anyhoo...hope you had a nice start to the first full week of fall:)
Blog ya later-
K
I kid, it wasn't that bad. In fact our cabin was quite good and after a few giggle fits and some flashlight "spot-lighting" they were mostly quiet..I only had to go over and stand and frown for a minute before they all really settled in and I heard peaceful breathing by 10:20..which I thought was pretty good! We stayed at a State Park group area that I actually stayed at when I was a fifth grader for a science type thingy! It was somewhat surreal as I stepped into the cabin that I could totally remember and yet the mess hall seemed so small...weird huh? Ok, not so much as all of the girls pointed out to me at breakfast, I was, afterall, smaller back then! But they seemed to be having fun and that was the important thing. It was strange though....they only stay two days and one night! Perhaps I was just very lucky with the district and program and money available that we actually stayed for a week! Left Monday am and returned Friday after lunch. It was a long week but fun and we did really cool stuff and had awesome high school counselors and I suppose that was the true reason it worked so well. Anyway I am still glad they get to do it for however long the program is as I think it is good for the kids to experience things like that and for some bonding to go on..plus...it seemed to level any petty competition as everyone was dirty :)
Then today I read a story about an elementary school in our district that had a "Walk/Bike to School Day" which I thought was very cool and then I thought too bad that it would never happen here! Not because there isn't the desire or willingness...it's merely the obstacles of terrain! The way our elementary is districted is very insane to be frank and quite spread out and there has been a ton of new construction somewhat far flung and there is no safe way those kids could ever walk to school unless they first hiked a cliff! I honestly wouldn't be thrilled about B walking to school either and we live less than a mile away! I feel like such a wuss saying that...I used to cross 270 on Big Bend to get to my house.....270......BIG BEND!!!!! But then again the actual speed limit there is STILL lower than the speed limit on the street she would have to walk along on the way where people are insane in the morning and then then next third doesn't have sidewalks and has a blind corner.....only in the last block...ok, actually honestly there are precisely 2 houses...2!!!! that have sidewalks in front of them before the school and there is a street in between them......it's just not a walking route really. The middle school route is totally fine the other way though...go figure!
It makes me wonder about how things have changed and how we have as a society and how that is influncing how we raise our children and the adults and parents they will become......and I then I just close my eyes and really, really, really, really, really hope that I'm doing ok :)
Anyhoo...hope you had a nice start to the first full week of fall:)
Blog ya later-
K
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Perspectives
Hello All!
I know, I know, looooooooooooooooooooong time no write, sorry. I wasn't sure what to say for a long time and then school started and everything else and it just got zany! On that end, everything is going well-yay! Lexi has adjusted to middle school quite easily and is actually enjoying all the changes and new classes and even the new people!!!! Bella loves her teacher and classmates and we are very happy with everything too...except for the fact that both Ed & I have recently felt...well...out of it at the elementary school. It's very weird! We have a foot in both worlds and now seeing all of the teeny tiny kindergartners and the fact that Lexi towers over them(she's 5ft tall!!!!!) and Bella is starting to sprout as well...it just feels like we don't fit in as much anymore! Not that anyone at or with the school has done anything to us at all, not at ALL, in fact some things have gone better than in past years! It is just a feeling...hard to explain but we both sense it and it is somewhat saddening as it represents the ending of an era......
How different it was on the other end...we were just starting out and the big new world of elementary school seemed giant and exciting and a phase that was going to take ages to get through, instead, it has flown by in the blink of an eye...... I don't think I'm ready to move on yet! It was safe, and happy and you knew everyone and they knew you and you knew all the kids faces and many of their names and they all still needed your help! Not that they don't still need your help as they grow older but...it is different, a different kind of help and most certainly a different level of involvement...and yes, that is ok and right and how it should be...but it doesn't mean I have to like it!
And then I look at me and take a deep breath and go whoa.....it has now officially been over two years since my last chemo treatment(yay) and in 10 days it will two years NED.......that's kind of crazy! I mean...in some ways it doesn't even feel like that ever happened, it was just a reaaaaaally bad movie that I watched...for a looong time.....and then I look down....and must acknowledge that yes, that did in fact happen and yes, I do in fact no longer have the boobs I was born with and that is ok 'cause.....I look awesome in a tshirt! LOL....kidding, I mean, not about that, it is truly a wonderful perk to be able to wear a tshirt without a bra and have it look great, but honestly I'm beyond happy to be alive...that is the best part...that is the ONLY part that matters. And that led me thinking while I was watching a show where they were lamenting women's boobs "moving south" after menapause...it's all about your perspective! Not looking down, well yes that does make it seem more of a lost cause sometimes, but in the fact that you can look at them at all! For even I haven't gone to the farthest edge of that perspective, for which I am so thankful and happy, or else I would not be writing this...for the edge is gone and not being around. So keep in mind your perspective...and that of the other guy too. Not just in aging and changes and boobs and foobs but in everything. I think if we all just take the time to look at all the perspectives that are out there, well, not only would our eyes be opened to amazing possiblities but also to how similar we all are in our fears and hopes and needs and wow what a wonderful world that would be!
Hope you all have been doing great and enjoyed this end to summer start of the school year.
Blog ya later-
K
I know, I know, looooooooooooooooooooong time no write, sorry. I wasn't sure what to say for a long time and then school started and everything else and it just got zany! On that end, everything is going well-yay! Lexi has adjusted to middle school quite easily and is actually enjoying all the changes and new classes and even the new people!!!! Bella loves her teacher and classmates and we are very happy with everything too...except for the fact that both Ed & I have recently felt...well...out of it at the elementary school. It's very weird! We have a foot in both worlds and now seeing all of the teeny tiny kindergartners and the fact that Lexi towers over them(she's 5ft tall!!!!!) and Bella is starting to sprout as well...it just feels like we don't fit in as much anymore! Not that anyone at or with the school has done anything to us at all, not at ALL, in fact some things have gone better than in past years! It is just a feeling...hard to explain but we both sense it and it is somewhat saddening as it represents the ending of an era......
How different it was on the other end...we were just starting out and the big new world of elementary school seemed giant and exciting and a phase that was going to take ages to get through, instead, it has flown by in the blink of an eye...... I don't think I'm ready to move on yet! It was safe, and happy and you knew everyone and they knew you and you knew all the kids faces and many of their names and they all still needed your help! Not that they don't still need your help as they grow older but...it is different, a different kind of help and most certainly a different level of involvement...and yes, that is ok and right and how it should be...but it doesn't mean I have to like it!
And then I look at me and take a deep breath and go whoa.....it has now officially been over two years since my last chemo treatment(yay) and in 10 days it will two years NED.......that's kind of crazy! I mean...in some ways it doesn't even feel like that ever happened, it was just a reaaaaaally bad movie that I watched...for a looong time.....and then I look down....and must acknowledge that yes, that did in fact happen and yes, I do in fact no longer have the boobs I was born with and that is ok 'cause.....I look awesome in a tshirt! LOL....kidding, I mean, not about that, it is truly a wonderful perk to be able to wear a tshirt without a bra and have it look great, but honestly I'm beyond happy to be alive...that is the best part...that is the ONLY part that matters. And that led me thinking while I was watching a show where they were lamenting women's boobs "moving south" after menapause...it's all about your perspective! Not looking down, well yes that does make it seem more of a lost cause sometimes, but in the fact that you can look at them at all! For even I haven't gone to the farthest edge of that perspective, for which I am so thankful and happy, or else I would not be writing this...for the edge is gone and not being around. So keep in mind your perspective...and that of the other guy too. Not just in aging and changes and boobs and foobs but in everything. I think if we all just take the time to look at all the perspectives that are out there, well, not only would our eyes be opened to amazing possiblities but also to how similar we all are in our fears and hopes and needs and wow what a wonderful world that would be!
Hope you all have been doing great and enjoyed this end to summer start of the school year.
Blog ya later-
K
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