Well that's over...

My sad weepiness over my daughter's growing old that is....can we fast forward a few years???  Funny what a day o' drama will do, huh?  Not that anything major or big happened per se'...just that "Everything IS happening, Mom!"  And since she can't actually take out her feelings on the kids that it may/may not involve or the fact that she is going to middle school next year, she's taking it out on me!  Lovely, and yes mom, I do realize that payback is a b**** but I don't recall yelling at you like this...Anyway, it's not even bedtime yet and already I just want to crawl under the covers and shut my eyes tight and hope that tomorrow will be much brighter because this is really not the least bit enjoyable ;-)

On a slightly different topic....today is two years from the date when I found my lump.  It seems like a very distant dream sometimes...and then I look down and go, "Oh yeah" and realize unfortunately it was not a dream but a nightmare that I will have to live with the echoes of for the rest of my loooooong years left here on planet Earth.  But today I celebrate making it to this point and continuing to move forward.   And to honor that I will remind you all to......



wait for it.....





wait for it......



FEEL YOUR BOOBIES!!!! 
It very well may save your life!  It most certainly saved mine since I was below the age when they consider breast cancer "normally" occuring in women.  And I also want to stress that knowing your own body is the best weapon you have against any disease...the second best being stubborness, if something isn't right, insist that it be checked out-it is far, far better to be safe than sorry, 'cause being sorry might actually mean you're sorry you are no longer around!  And if that doesn't work...call me, I'm a troublemaker afterall and I'd be more than happy to go in to any doctor with you and insist, very politely but firmly of course, that it be checked out!

One last thing...if you would desire to walk/run in the St Louis Komen for the Cure and haven't signed up yet, you are welcome to join my team, "The Rack Pack".  But...registration for the team is only open until noon this Sat., May 22nd.  You can of course always just register as an individual right up until the actual 9am start time on Sat., June 12th, but if you would like to join with a group of fun and crazy people(many kids included) please feel free to and I will be able to contact you through the Komen STL site and get you more info.  And if you miss the team registration deadline but don't want to walk alone, you can contact me through here(leave a comment with a way to contact you-I screen all comments first so I PROMISE I won't make anything you leave here public unless it is ok with you) and I can give you info on how to meet up with the team to walk with us regardless of your official "team" status :-)

Thanks for bearing with me these past two years...all of your support and love has helped to carry me through for sure.  Love you all and as always,

Blog ya later,
K

Upward and onward!

Or is that onward and upward?  I can't remember and I suppose it doesn't truly matter as I was simply refering to the fact that both girls bridged up in Girl Scouts today!  Sigh....I have had a Brownie living in my house for 5 years.....until now...just one more thing on the list of "never agains".  It was quite sweet as we did both troops together...mostly 'cause the other leader and I have girls in both troops and with all the 5th grade stuff, having two bridging ceremonies was just too much and so being able to do it all at once worked much better for us!(Yes, a bit selfish I suppose, but that is what happens when you are the leader, you get to pick things like that! )

I had the older girls give the younger girls a flower after they had bridged as a welcome to Juniors before that group moved on to becoming Cadettes....it worked quite well and seemed a good way to keep the girls involved and entertained all at once :-)  Then the older girls bridged up and also received a flower from their leader before we all clapped and cried...ok, before I cried.  I started choking up at the very first line I had to read at the beginning of the ceremony, sheesh, I am going to be a complete mess when these girls get old enough to graduate from High School!!!!  But it was incredible to have gone on this journey and watched them grow and mature and truly become leaders and I am so thankful for the women that have helped guide them all along on this journey and...I only hope that I can and have had as good an influence on the younger troop that I am leading.

Anyway, that was a large chunk of my day but it was a good day overall.  Started with a wonderful lunch with friends to celebrate a birthday and ended with celebrating Lexi's final final project at CCL.

And now I shall try and go to bed in anticipation of another full day tomorrow :-)

Blog ya later-
K

PS...Anyone found that remote yet????  I really, really need it about now....

Here we goooooo!!!

To the end of the year.....{Now, make sure you say that in your best Peter Pan style voice as he sails the Darling children off to Neverland 'cause....well...it just sounds better that way :-)  }

This is the beginning of the end...I was just humming, "This is the end...my faithful friend the end" ala Jim Morrison but that didn't seem quite right, and yet, it is the end....of an era.  Today was the Mystery Trip, which is the traditional last fieldtrip for the 5th graders, an all day extravaganza, planned by the parents that is based on how much money you fund raise...we have been very lucky this year and the kids had a banner day.  They played to their hearts' content during the first half and then frollicked...or romped, depending on who you were viewing at any given moment, in the park for lunch, caricatures and a DJ dance party before heading back to school to enjoy a special visit from the ice cream truck and then heading home!  Needless to say, Lexi is exhausted(YAY-maybe she'll go to bed early tonight and I can watch a TV show that I want all the way through for a change! )  So it was a wonderful day, at least from the kids' perspectives...the parents....well, yes, it was great and didn't rain and no one got too seriously hurt but...they also got t-shirts that said "Falcons Class of 2017" and that my friends was the kicker.....they are no longer our babes, our little ones, our munchkins or mini-mes....they are now refered to in terms of when they will graduate from high school!!!!  How did this happen?????  Where did the time go?????  Wasn't it just yesterday that we were having a cute little sock hop for them finishing Kindergarten?????

I am sooo not ready for this, not that one can really prepare for it and actually...if you have been doing your job right as a parent, them moving on fairly smoothly just means it is all good but....can't we just pause?  Where is that universe remote?  I want to pause...and maybe even rewind a bit, ya know?

I know Lexi is ready to move on, and truthfully, all of the gigantic 5th graders do need to leave, they tower over those baby Kindergartners even more now than they did at the beginning of the year but....something about the fact that my little girl, my fairyfaye, will be moving on to a brave new world...ok, actually a scary new world of middle school insanity(and we ALL know what I am alluding to there) is really just wrong.  Granted Bella is thrilled that she will be the "oldest&only" as far as paperwork home is concerned and yet I think that she will indeed miss her big sister being there more than she is willing to let on.  And I will miss the "young world" of elementary school in which we had been exclusively residing for the past six years, *gasp*...has it really been that long?  Now I know we will still be there with B, but...it won't be the same.  Our house will be divided, so to speak, we will have two seperate schools(actually three with CCL) in which we have to coordinate various schedules and attend various events and...I just don't know that I am ready for this!!!!!

Ok, sorry...enough rambling...basically I am somewhat of a basket case as my next two weeks are booked solid every day with events and "lasts" and Lexi will be "promoted" next Wed. and then Field and Fun day and then...that's it...she's no longer a little girl.....it will be official and.....I'm just not ready, I'm just not.

Soooo, if anyone out there has that universe remote to which I was refering and they would be so kind as to lend it to me, I would greatly appreciate it....or at least give me a heads up if they do push pause...or maybe just slow-mo so that I can sit back, relax and enjoy, that'd be swell, thanks.

Oh yeah, on a different topic, I got my stitches out today!!!!!  Unfortunately due to the ragged nature of the cut I must still wear a band-aid until there are no more "skintabs" or I am liable to open it right back up...cause ya know, I never do anything the simple way, right?  And..I had a blood-letting which so far is only showing a slight bruise(woo-hoo) but that was just a minor incident in the insanity of the day and my mind and so I shall now bid you adeiu.

Blog ya later-
K

Another day...

fortunately not another injury..in fact, so far it has been injury free!  I have however, been able to gross Lexi out quite thoroughly and often by just putting my stitched thumb up to her eye level..is it bad that I have quite relished that?

Other than that it was a fairly ho-hum day...except of course for the always obnoxious teen drivers and their inability to park in any sort of logical fashion.  Is it also bad that I was rooting for the trash truck and the bus to sideswipe one of their cars in the hopes they would learn a lesson?  Ok, yes, that one probably is bad but it is getting utterly ridiculous not to mention dangerous.  They aren't breaking any laws...yet...I really can't wait for that sign, but they most certainly are not using any kind of common sense at all and for that I think getting a sideswiping is somewhat of fair play if only to prevent a further disaster which is bound to happen quite soon in fact since I watched near collisions almost happen 10 times today due to the fact that they created a blind corner with their cars.  and to prove my point, I, of course, took pictures!  Which I am now going to post for you all:) I'm also sending the pics to the school administrators b/c they need to be aware that they are not fostering any kind of good community will by not enforcing their own policies of parking on campus or not driving.

So here are the pics and as a bonus I am also adding in my lovely thumb...so if you don't want to see it, don't scroll all the way down!

Cars that make it a blind curve!

Said blind curve...

Blind curve from other direction....

Same section at 3:20 when they are gone...

And....the most beautiful thumb :)

Blog ya later-

K

Long time,

no writing.....well....to be perfectly honest, I was very mad!  (As if you couldn't tell that from reading the last entry!)  I have had some time to cool down, reflect and chat about it with various friends, confidants, relatives and of course, my man, and they have talked me off the ledge...mostly!

Anyway, here is how it stands;

The school district...HA...this is a fight that I will not give up but it must be put on the back burner until next fall when they start planning the 2011-12 school year and so I am resolved in my, oh shall we say 'diligent patience', in other words, I can wait through the summer, I'm not going anywhere and I am certainly not forgetting this or letting it go.  In the mean time I have tried to organize a parent's group at the school to talk about this and just other general issues and hopefully that will be a very good thing for everyone involved~the first two meetings have been small but interesting and the feedback has been to keep it up so we shall see.

Girl Scouts~double HA....I still really can't fathom that what happened happened as it is soooo against everything Scouty but we are all still human beings and most definitely fallible and so I am going to say something to the neighborhood chair in my end of the year info dump and then move on.  I will not be involving myself and most certainly not Bella with the particular "culprits" until they can literally prove that they can and will do it right though, as her food allergy is never a three-strikes-you're-out kind of deal...one strike could kill her and so for right now we will stay in the dugout thank you very much!

The foobs/cancer....well...I guess I am still coming to terms with it all.   I'd like to think I was over everything and just hunky-dory but alas, it appears I am not, although I try and continue to fool myself into thinking so.  That's not to say I don't have good days, I do...totally fab days when I look smashing in a shirt and I don't even have to put on a bra(I just know you're jealous ;) ) but the truth is...I am reminded every single day of what happened when I look in the mirror.  Even though I try and avoid that as much as possible, it's kind of hard when the back of our bathroom door has a full length mirror on it and it is what you see when you open the shower curtain and step out...hmmmm....maybe I should move that...or just take hotter showers and really steam it up! :P  As for the real important issue....swimsuits...I give up!  Surprised? Don't be...it is hard enough for everyone else why shouldn't it be hard for the perfect foobs?  Of course what this really means is although it might seem like the easiest route, I will not be appearing nekid at the pool, I will just be wearing one of several suits I have bought that cover the scars enough and if they don't or the suit shifts in the water and someone happens to see them and stare well...that's on them, I give up, I officially don't care and nothing anyone does can make me.....I, of course, reserve the right to completely revoke that statement should I go to the pool and have some little kid scream loudly, "Mommy, why does that lady have slashes on her boobies?" but I am hoping that will never be the case...and even if it is, I am pretty sure that mommy will be far more embarrassed by that than I am anyway!

And now the rest of the story....the last few weeks have been crazy insane with fieldtrips, end of year happenings, camping trips and more Dr.s appts than I can keep straight!  Not to mention the fact that in that time period I applied for a position on the School Board(no I didn't get chosen, but I wasn't doing it for that completely, I just wanted to see how they did it) and I have come away with some very interesting observations and questions that were posed to me that I plan on posing right back at them when they run again.....yeah, I'm a troublemaker, actually that's not really accurate, I just seek truth and justice and equality, but whatever, I suppose to some who are not doing those things that does qualify me as a troublemaker...guess they should watch out then :D 
I found out I actually hurt the nerves in my foot as well as tendons and cartilage from the cookie/stairs incident and am still recovering from that although it is MUCH better thankfully!
 I have continued to battle the teen drivers, but...I am winning(insert evil laughter here) since I have no qualms about calling the police and making the county money from them parking in a lawn, or too close to a mailbox(must be 7 ft clearance on both sides fyi), or too close to the entrance to an intersection(a 30 ft clearance required for that one) or too far from the curb(12 inches or less).  And...there will soon be a no parking sign on one side of my street which someone tore down years ago and that will lessen my troubles even more!(Kudos to the STL County street dept. as they had a truck out here to check on it literally within a half an hour from when I called about it!!!!  Unfortunately they weren't sure exactly where it had been before so the boss man has to come out and officially survey and then make sure that is clear of all utilities before they put it back up, but they said within a week's time.  And yes, had I known that, it would have gone up last fall but...at least next year it will already be there by the time school starts! )
And last but not least, I ended up getting stitches on Cinco de Mayo!  Now before you guess it may have been due to my over celebrating the holiday...I will stop you and say I had just poured my first Mojito(I don't do Tequila or margaritas) and had only taken one sip before I was de-pitting an avocado and the knife broke the pit and sliced my thumb.   It was not the smoothest move I have ever made, yet I really have never claimed to be smooth, in fact I generally proclaim I'm a klutz and to watch out, but this was truly all the avocado pit's fault...I have never had a pit break on me....and ..never had to get stitches either, so it was kind of a two-fer I guess.  However, I now have and thankfully made it through the ordeal without passing out and still getting to devour the avocado in some homemade guac(it was delish btw) and now I just have one more scar to add to collection and I'm really just happy I didn't cut my nail as that would have been waaay worse and this is "just a flesh wound" so no biggie in the grand scheme of things.  I will say it was quite amusing to see the girls' reactions to it though!  They have seen me with hair in various stages of falling out, no eyebrows or lashes(which is truly the freakiest part of that I swear! ) boobless with huge scars running across my chest and too many drains for one lifetime not to mention the scars and actual bulging port implant and this...THIS...five measly stitches grossed them out~I will never understand my children, which is probably for the best anyway :)

So now I am just continuing with the crazy wind down of the school year and the end of an era as Lexi moves from elementary to middle school and somehow managing to have at least one thing to do on my calendar from now until June but then the lazy days of summer shall begin and my formal sun-worshipping shall commence and I can't wait.

I will try to be better about writing again and now that I am over this latest bout of madness I think it will come easier ...or at least I will have lots to write about for the next few weeks anyway :)

So, I hope you have had a nice end of April and start of May and as always,
Blog ya later-
K