Well this was a fun day.
It started with me dropping the girls at my parents and then driving up to Barnes West to get my mammogram and ultrasound films from last week. At which point I realized I didn't have my license or insurance card sooooo I had to drive all the way back home(141 and 44 area) and get that and I was on empty too. So I filled up and then had to drive out to Boone's Crossing(40 at the Missouri river) for an MRI. Which was ever so fun. Actually it was not that bad except for the noise, it was really loud. Then back to the BCI(breast cancer institute) for pre-surgery stuff, like drawing blood and getting a chest xray and an ekg. That wasn't so bad....just time consuming.
Oh and I pre-emptively chopped my hair! Which I am donating to locks of love. That had been the plan to do this fall/winter with the girls when their hair got long enough but I just consider it a bit of a schedule change. And I must admit, it is quite freeing and my head is waaaaaaaaaaaay less heavy now:) And of course it has made my mom happy, she has always liked me with a swingy bob:)
Anyway, I talk to the plastic surgeon on June 9th and then the surgery is scheduled for the 19th and then chemo a couple weeks after that. So it will be a long June but it should be filled up too.
However it does mean that I won't get to run the Komen Race for the Cure, which is rather ironic if you think about it all:) So if anyone feels like doing it in my place, please do, PLEASE, but not for me,for every woman out there who has had to go through and those who still will until there is a cure.
Blog ya later-
K
Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Alrighty then
well....I now know more....and not necessarily anything I wanted to know, yes I was still harboring a tiny hope that this has just been a very long dream, oh well.
I have officially been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Cancer. They are not absolutely sure of the stage yet but all indications are that it is stage two. Now for those of you who don't know anything, which was me until this weekend when I read everything I could find online... this means-a-the cancer started in the milk ducts and has now spread to the fatty tissue around that area in my breast, hence the invasive label. The next place it would go is the lymph nodes however they think they have caught it before that and that is very good. The stage has to do with the size of the tumor and where it has spread to so that is why they are not being definitive on that yet.
The Onacoligical surgeon today discussed two options with us for treatment. I could have a lumpectomy where they remove the lump and an area of surrounding tissue. This is an outpatient procedure and is what is most common apparently. However there are some drawbacks to it as well. if they find cancer cells in the surrounding tissue that they removed when they look after the surgery, then they have to go back in and remove more and frankly who wants a second surgery? And I am also being tested for the BRAC gene which if I have they would go back in and do a mastectomy at that point, and the gene test takes three weeks to get back. Plus there is six weeks of radiation treatment after the lumpectomy before the chemo.
Or I could opt to have a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery all at once. Not have to do radiology(nothing to radiate) and then jump right into chemo, which will probably be a six month treatment. Oh..and did I mention I would opt for a double mastectomy and get smaller perkier boobs?
So perhaps you can tell from my descriptions which option I am choosing, and if not, it is B.
Now before you get all worked up, I have thought and talked this through with several people including several nurses. Considering all of the factors and my track record(I continually hurt myself the same way over and over, not intentionally, just do, and always in a symmetrical fashion) this seems like the smart option. I don't want to have to have her go back and take out more in a couple of weeks, and I don't want to have to have a mastectomy in three or four if I have the gene and I certainly don't want to have to do this again in 5-10-15 years. And yes I am young and healthy, but the young thing sorta works against me as well in this case so why not just take care of it as much as I can now and not have to do it again? Plus...did I mention the smaller perkier boobs part? :P
So now we call tomorrow and schedule that surgery which I know will happen next week or the following one and then I have 1-2 weeks after that until I start chemo.
I really am doing fine and more importantly I know God has a plan fr me, not sure what it is, but i never am really, but I have an inkling that it includes seeing my grandkids:) And I am a very firm believer in the concept that He never gives you more than you can handle.
So to quote a wonderful friend, "Apparently He has decided you can no longer handle your DDs and has decided to relieve you of that burden:P" I love my friends, they are just as silly as me:)
I will keep you all posted.
Blog ya later-
K
I have officially been diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Cancer. They are not absolutely sure of the stage yet but all indications are that it is stage two. Now for those of you who don't know anything, which was me until this weekend when I read everything I could find online... this means-a-the cancer started in the milk ducts and has now spread to the fatty tissue around that area in my breast, hence the invasive label. The next place it would go is the lymph nodes however they think they have caught it before that and that is very good. The stage has to do with the size of the tumor and where it has spread to so that is why they are not being definitive on that yet.
The Onacoligical surgeon today discussed two options with us for treatment. I could have a lumpectomy where they remove the lump and an area of surrounding tissue. This is an outpatient procedure and is what is most common apparently. However there are some drawbacks to it as well. if they find cancer cells in the surrounding tissue that they removed when they look after the surgery, then they have to go back in and remove more and frankly who wants a second surgery? And I am also being tested for the BRAC gene which if I have they would go back in and do a mastectomy at that point, and the gene test takes three weeks to get back. Plus there is six weeks of radiation treatment after the lumpectomy before the chemo.
Or I could opt to have a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery all at once. Not have to do radiology(nothing to radiate) and then jump right into chemo, which will probably be a six month treatment. Oh..and did I mention I would opt for a double mastectomy and get smaller perkier boobs?
So perhaps you can tell from my descriptions which option I am choosing, and if not, it is B.
Now before you get all worked up, I have thought and talked this through with several people including several nurses. Considering all of the factors and my track record(I continually hurt myself the same way over and over, not intentionally, just do, and always in a symmetrical fashion) this seems like the smart option. I don't want to have to have her go back and take out more in a couple of weeks, and I don't want to have to have a mastectomy in three or four if I have the gene and I certainly don't want to have to do this again in 5-10-15 years. And yes I am young and healthy, but the young thing sorta works against me as well in this case so why not just take care of it as much as I can now and not have to do it again? Plus...did I mention the smaller perkier boobs part? :P
So now we call tomorrow and schedule that surgery which I know will happen next week or the following one and then I have 1-2 weeks after that until I start chemo.
I really am doing fine and more importantly I know God has a plan fr me, not sure what it is, but i never am really, but I have an inkling that it includes seeing my grandkids:) And I am a very firm believer in the concept that He never gives you more than you can handle.
So to quote a wonderful friend, "Apparently He has decided you can no longer handle your DDs and has decided to relieve you of that burden:P" I love my friends, they are just as silly as me:)
I will keep you all posted.
Blog ya later-
K
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Rats
and double rats.
Well, the biopsy came back as positive for cancer. We are meeting with the surgeon tomorrow to figure out the treatment plan. I am assuming that it will go in stages. First the surgery to remove the lump. Which will further determine the plan of action as size matters regarding the treatment and diagnosis of the stage of the cancer.
I assume that tomorrow she will be able to tell us what kind of cancer it is from the biopsy but I really don't know. I suppose I should have asked but even though I have basically accepted this since the beginning, I admit I was holding out the tiniest shred of hope that it was nothing. And so I did not ask and now I know nothing more than it is most definitely some type of cancer in my breast that we have to deal with.
Sooooo.... more tomorrow.
Blog ya later-
K
Well, the biopsy came back as positive for cancer. We are meeting with the surgeon tomorrow to figure out the treatment plan. I am assuming that it will go in stages. First the surgery to remove the lump. Which will further determine the plan of action as size matters regarding the treatment and diagnosis of the stage of the cancer.
I assume that tomorrow she will be able to tell us what kind of cancer it is from the biopsy but I really don't know. I suppose I should have asked but even though I have basically accepted this since the beginning, I admit I was holding out the tiniest shred of hope that it was nothing. And so I did not ask and now I know nothing more than it is most definitely some type of cancer in my breast that we have to deal with.
Sooooo.... more tomorrow.
Blog ya later-
K
Monday, May 26, 2008
Memorial Day
To all those who have gone before and paved the way for us...
We honor you.
To all those who have sacrificed themselves for us...
We honor you.
To all those who are still fighting...
We honor you.
Thank you for everything that you have done and all that you have given for us.
We honor you.
To all those who have sacrificed themselves for us...
We honor you.
To all those who are still fighting...
We honor you.
Thank you for everything that you have done and all that you have given for us.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Biopsy
That word conjures certain images in one's head and let me tell you....mine were on the money.
I had my biopsy on the lump today. While the actual procedure was not all that painful, the numbing shot sucked and now, 3 1/2 hours later I am quite sore. I can't quite describe it in relation to anything b/c I have never felt this way before. But needless to say it was/is not pleasant. And now of course we are back to the waiting game....as the labs will not be back until after the holiday weekend and even then probably not until late on Tuesday.
I feel like I'm in a holding pattern. Almost like I'm adrift in the ocean and I can see the shore....but I have no paddle, there is no breeze and the currents are making me stay in place. I can't get closer, but I'm not drifting farther away either. It's not completely unbearable, it's a beautiful day on this ocean and I'm surrounded by my friends and family on my raft, but darnit all if I don't want to get to shore and get settled into this next journey in my life.
That and the fact that I have been quite scatterbrained this week....frankly it's disconcerting and I don't like it one bit!
Anyway, I will keep you posted.
Enjoy the holiday and remember all of those who have gone before to ensure that we can.
God Bless America and God bless all of those who are serving in the military and God bless you too.
Blog ya later-
K
I had my biopsy on the lump today. While the actual procedure was not all that painful, the numbing shot sucked and now, 3 1/2 hours later I am quite sore. I can't quite describe it in relation to anything b/c I have never felt this way before. But needless to say it was/is not pleasant. And now of course we are back to the waiting game....as the labs will not be back until after the holiday weekend and even then probably not until late on Tuesday.
I feel like I'm in a holding pattern. Almost like I'm adrift in the ocean and I can see the shore....but I have no paddle, there is no breeze and the currents are making me stay in place. I can't get closer, but I'm not drifting farther away either. It's not completely unbearable, it's a beautiful day on this ocean and I'm surrounded by my friends and family on my raft, but darnit all if I don't want to get to shore and get settled into this next journey in my life.
That and the fact that I have been quite scatterbrained this week....frankly it's disconcerting and I don't like it one bit!
Anyway, I will keep you posted.
Enjoy the holiday and remember all of those who have gone before to ensure that we can.
God Bless America and God bless all of those who are serving in the military and God bless you too.
Blog ya later-
K
Thursday, May 22, 2008
The Big C
Ok, well...how does one start this....I guess I should just get it out.
I found a lump in my breast this week. It was Monday night as I was showering and I kept checking it thinking noooo, this can't be right, this wasn't here last week. So Tuesday morning I called the Dr. and got in right away, not my obgyn(but that is for a different blog) but my wonderful internist. He got me in that morning and confirmed that yes it was a lump and that I needed to get it checked out further and, most importantly, that I had done the right thing by acting fast.
He made the appointment for the mammogram and ultrasound and Thursday was the earliest they could get me in. Now I don't know about you, but waiting two days is...well....sucky and not what I wanted to do at this point. So anyway, I went in earlier today and they did the scans and then the sound waves. I was my ever friendly and upbeat self, cause frankly, I have to be, what's the point in being obsessed about something I don't know the facts about. However, the Ultrasound tech....well...I could just tell. She was much too sympathetic towards me by the end of the scans, and she took way to many of them. Now again, some of you might be saying, she's just a tech, what does she know, and my thoughts are a whole heck of a lot. She has seen breasts with cysts, lumps and probably cancer everywhere, I am sure she can tell somewhat from looking as she takes the shots at what is happening. That and she took an awful long time to confer with the radiologist when I was the only patient in the lab at the time. Of course she then took me back to my clothes and told me they would call my Doctor and he would call me, but probably not until tomorrow because he doesn't have office hours today!!!!! CRAP, CRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP, I felt like Homer in that Treehouse of Horror episode when he went into the third dimension:)
Fortunately my doctor was there or had given instructions to contact him and about an hour later I got the call. The call from heck that is. "Yes K," he said, " it looks bad. I already made the appointment for you for tomorrow morning for the biopsy and here is the name of the oncologist I want you to use , oh and the surgeon will be at the biopsy appt. so you can discuss options depending on what specifically they find." OH CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
I am only 35. I have two kids who are only 7 and 9. I have lots to do......bloody 'ell, noo, unuh dawg, and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? huhhhhhhhhhhhh? (Now you really have to read those imagining the various accents that go with them, Rupert Grinch aka Ron Weasley, any rapper, and the character that Kristen Wiig does when she plays Amy Poehler's aunt who reviews movies in the News skit on SNL)
Now, let me just say at this point, cancer runs in my family. I was not completely unprepared for this to happen to me. But I honestly thought it would be another 5-10 years before I would get to that point.
So having said all this, I now sit waiting for the morning when my reality will be shifted and wonder what that include. Of course, being me, I have to see things in a positive light. First off....should it get this far...FREE BOOB JOB:) I have DDs and trust me I would prefer the Cs I had when I was younger ..plus they'd be perky again...and they always get in my way so I would be ok with that. However....I have worked long and hard on my hair and do not relish the thought of losing it. I shall cut it again and donate it should it come to that, but.....I truly hope not, I like my mane:)
Anyway, I think I'm ok...I mean besides the invaders in my body. Mentally I am either doing exceptionally well..or have moved to Africa....beside that beautiful river...de Nile:P
Thanks for listening and I will keep you posted.
Blog ya Later-
K
I found a lump in my breast this week. It was Monday night as I was showering and I kept checking it thinking noooo, this can't be right, this wasn't here last week. So Tuesday morning I called the Dr. and got in right away, not my obgyn(but that is for a different blog) but my wonderful internist. He got me in that morning and confirmed that yes it was a lump and that I needed to get it checked out further and, most importantly, that I had done the right thing by acting fast.
He made the appointment for the mammogram and ultrasound and Thursday was the earliest they could get me in. Now I don't know about you, but waiting two days is...well....sucky and not what I wanted to do at this point. So anyway, I went in earlier today and they did the scans and then the sound waves. I was my ever friendly and upbeat self, cause frankly, I have to be, what's the point in being obsessed about something I don't know the facts about. However, the Ultrasound tech....well...I could just tell. She was much too sympathetic towards me by the end of the scans, and she took way to many of them. Now again, some of you might be saying, she's just a tech, what does she know, and my thoughts are a whole heck of a lot. She has seen breasts with cysts, lumps and probably cancer everywhere, I am sure she can tell somewhat from looking as she takes the shots at what is happening. That and she took an awful long time to confer with the radiologist when I was the only patient in the lab at the time. Of course she then took me back to my clothes and told me they would call my Doctor and he would call me, but probably not until tomorrow because he doesn't have office hours today!!!!! CRAP, CRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP, I felt like Homer in that Treehouse of Horror episode when he went into the third dimension:)
Fortunately my doctor was there or had given instructions to contact him and about an hour later I got the call. The call from heck that is. "Yes K," he said, " it looks bad. I already made the appointment for you for tomorrow morning for the biopsy and here is the name of the oncologist I want you to use , oh and the surgeon will be at the biopsy appt. so you can discuss options depending on what specifically they find." OH CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
I am only 35. I have two kids who are only 7 and 9. I have lots to do......bloody 'ell, noo, unuh dawg, and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? huhhhhhhhhhhhh? (Now you really have to read those imagining the various accents that go with them, Rupert Grinch aka Ron Weasley, any rapper, and the character that Kristen Wiig does when she plays Amy Poehler's aunt who reviews movies in the News skit on SNL)
Now, let me just say at this point, cancer runs in my family. I was not completely unprepared for this to happen to me. But I honestly thought it would be another 5-10 years before I would get to that point.
So having said all this, I now sit waiting for the morning when my reality will be shifted and wonder what that include. Of course, being me, I have to see things in a positive light. First off....should it get this far...FREE BOOB JOB:) I have DDs and trust me I would prefer the Cs I had when I was younger ..plus they'd be perky again...and they always get in my way so I would be ok with that. However....I have worked long and hard on my hair and do not relish the thought of losing it. I shall cut it again and donate it should it come to that, but.....I truly hope not, I like my mane:)
Anyway, I think I'm ok...I mean besides the invaders in my body. Mentally I am either doing exceptionally well..or have moved to Africa....beside that beautiful river...de Nile:P
Thanks for listening and I will keep you posted.
Blog ya Later-
K
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