The Big C

Ok, well...how does one start this....I guess I should just get it out.

I found a lump in my breast this week. It was Monday night as I was showering and I kept checking it thinking noooo, this can't be right, this wasn't here last week. So Tuesday morning I called the Dr. and got in right away, not my obgyn(but that is for a different blog) but my wonderful internist. He got me in that morning and confirmed that yes it was a lump and that I needed to get it checked out further and, most importantly, that I had done the right thing by acting fast.

He made the appointment for the mammogram and ultrasound and Thursday was the earliest they could get me in. Now I don't know about you, but waiting two days is...well....sucky and not what I wanted to do at this point. So anyway, I went in earlier today and they did the scans and then the sound waves. I was my ever friendly and upbeat self, cause frankly, I have to be, what's the point in being obsessed about something I don't know the facts about. However, the Ultrasound tech....well...I could just tell. She was much too sympathetic towards me by the end of the scans, and she took way to many of them. Now again, some of you might be saying, she's just a tech, what does she know, and my thoughts are a whole heck of a lot. She has seen breasts with cysts, lumps and probably cancer everywhere, I am sure she can tell somewhat from looking as she takes the shots at what is happening. That and she took an awful long time to confer with the radiologist when I was the only patient in the lab at the time. Of course she then took me back to my clothes and told me they would call my Doctor and he would call me, but probably not until tomorrow because he doesn't have office hours today!!!!! CRAP, CRAP CRAP CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP, I felt like Homer in that Treehouse of Horror episode when he went into the third dimension:)

Fortunately my doctor was there or had given instructions to contact him and about an hour later I got the call. The call from heck that is. "Yes K," he said, " it looks bad. I already made the appointment for you for tomorrow morning for the biopsy and here is the name of the oncologist I want you to use , oh and the surgeon will be at the biopsy appt. so you can discuss options depending on what specifically they find." OH CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I am only 35. I have two kids who are only 7 and 9. I have lots to do......bloody 'ell, noo, unuh dawg, and whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? huhhhhhhhhhhhh? (Now you really have to read those imagining the various accents that go with them, Rupert Grinch aka Ron Weasley, any rapper, and the character that Kristen Wiig does when she plays Amy Poehler's aunt who reviews movies in the News skit on SNL)

Now, let me just say at this point, cancer runs in my family. I was not completely unprepared for this to happen to me. But I honestly thought it would be another 5-10 years before I would get to that point.


So having said all this, I now sit waiting for the morning when my reality will be shifted and wonder what that include. Of course, being me, I have to see things in a positive light. First off....should it get this far...FREE BOOB JOB:) I have DDs and trust me I would prefer the Cs I had when I was younger ..plus they'd be perky again...and they always get in my way so I would be ok with that. However....I have worked long and hard on my hair and do not relish the thought of losing it. I shall cut it again and donate it should it come to that, but.....I truly hope not, I like my mane:)

Anyway, I think I'm ok...I mean besides the invaders in my body. Mentally I am either doing exceptionally well..or have moved to Africa....beside that beautiful river...de Nile:P

Thanks for listening and I will keep you posted.

Blog ya Later-
K