Day of Docs

So...today I had an appt with my oncologist whom I adore, had to have my blood sucked, not so much adoring of that though...and I mean that literally....it wasn't coming out of the veins easily either today....sigh.....just one more reason to hate C and chemo...wrecks your veins! But everything was fine and dandy..she is thinking my hair is going to start curling....we'll see, I think parts may, but not all of it...that would be too easy...too uniform. And then I walked back out into the reception area to check in with the other side!

And so on I went to have my three month check up with my surgical oncologist, whom I love. She is the one who left a nice amount of skin from the mastectomies so that things are progressing quite well in that area apparently(I owe that thought to the surprise that I had only had one filling and had bumps this size! and I thought they were small..go figure!) As I was waiting her nurse brought in my films and handed them to me. I asked her what I was supposed to do with them since I don't even have those boobs anymore?!!? And she said well then take it home and keep it in a closet. And I thought.....damn straight, pardon my language but these are some of the only existing film of my old boobs...I think I have a right to claim them. Its probably against some rule but ya know what, if the boobs do not exist, the films need not either.

So I looked. Yep...they were my smooshed boobs. I had two sets and the ultrasound pics too. The first set was from Nov. 2006, a baseline my general dr had suggested thankfully and it was amazing to see the difference between the two. I knew how big the lump felt and how big they thought it was, but to see it....actually SEE it, and the tendrils shooting out from it...scared the ....well, it just made me sick. That had only been 18 months between the two mammograms. And it was awful...the way it looked. It was a mass with a tendril reaching out literally as if it was trying to grow to other parts of me.......I can't sum up the feelings it evoked, I've just spent twenty minutes trying out different sets of words and none can completely encapsulate the whole range of emotions from it so I'm going to leave it at that.

Anyway.....for those of you keeping track...WE FINALLY HAVE SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doin' the happy dance:)

Blog ya later-
K