Ok...this week has been nice as we have gotten to visit with the Italian relatives and the girls have really enjoyed playing with their cousins, but........
ouch.
The nurses warned me that the new chemo drug would hurt my bones.....and yes sirree bob, it certainly does. It kind of crept up on me. I felt great on Tuesday, which was a nice change of pace for sure. Wed. wasn't too bad either, we toured the AB brewery and I did quite well. Thursday I started to feel a bit achy and so we hung out at our house as they explored the malls and then met up for dinner. Yesterday.....it totally sucked. I mean it was great fun, we took the kids to Riverchase and they swam around all afternoon while I sat, which in itself was fine, but.....the achyness really started to escalate at that point.
Now, I deal with joint pain whenever the weather changes due to my past injuries, but this was/is 1000 times worse. My whole body aches, every single bone, to the point where I can barely stand, let alone walk, I feel like I'm 90.....and I'm not sure that today is better per se or if I just haven't moved enough for it to really be hurting! (I'm hoping its not the latter cause I would like to move at some point!) They did say it was usually in days 3-5 that this happened and since it is day 5, I really think tomorrow will be better, but I am a little worried. This is just round one of this......if I am in this bad shape with round one....is it going to get worse? Will it be a cumulative effect to the point where I just lay in agony for days 3-5 of the next three rounds? How is that going to work with life starting back up again? How is that going to work with my keeping my sanity and some perspective on this whole thing? Will I turn into a raving lunatic due to the unbearable pain that I feel and the fact no medicines will ease that pain? Or will my eyes just glaze over and I'll slip into a different state where reality ceases to exist because my brain can't handle the firing of pain receptor neurons anymore? Ok....I exaggerate a bit.....but not much, it really hurts and I am close to curling up in a little ball and crying mommy.......
Anyway, I know I only have three left, but I am tired of it.....and yes I know I can make it, but $%#&#%$&$*#^#*#&@^@^@^ I don't want to anymore....this is not fun anymore and I wanna quit! Ok, enough whining.....for now anyway:P
Next week will be bad enough as I again lament the fact that this summer has slipped through my grasp and flown by without me participating at all.......but....at least the girls will get some structure again!!YAY!! And we are quite happy with the teachers they got this year, the list was posted last night. And with only one minor snafu, B's bff is not in her class, but as I said, she can still hang out all the time and she will see her everyday and at CCL and at Brownies......hopefully it will not be as bad as she fears(of course I know it won't, but its hard to convince a 7 yr old that it's not the end of the world ya know:) )
Soooo...to all who it applies to, enjoy your last weekend of summer and I will....
Blog ya later-
K
No comments:
Post a Comment