So I've had multiple thoughts today of what I wanted to write about...to the extent of even partially composing several of them in my head but nothing has really pushed me into a final stance of that's the one for today...so here I am at 10:30 still pondering........
I could talk about the fact that I have just realized that I have several jobs in fact. All but one part time and all unpaid, but they are truly jobs that eat up my time, energy and spirit none the less. Or perhaps about the news that 3 or 4 sets of my oldest's friends have now started 'going out' with each other has made me feel......well...a whole range of emotions that I can't even comprehend yet, let alone describe! How about my utter failure again at a swimsuit top?!?!?!? And of course there is always the good old standby of oh yeah guess what...I had cancer and have foobs!!!!
It's been a busy day around here :) After spending the second hour of my day responding to emails, the first was spent getting everyone up and fed and out the door, and then having several other things to take care for my other roles made me realize that it really is a job outside of being a mom to be a volunteer and leader and coach and rabble rouser, etc. Then I spent a wonderful mid-day with an old friend and her youngest that I had never met and it was so sweet to see and yet...so nice not to have to deal with anymore either...sigh...
Which brings me to issue number two! Yes...there is 'coupling' of some of the kids..and just so you fellow parents know, I don't know who, she wouldn't say. But it is just the variety of...girl likes boy, boy likes girl, boy asks girl to "go out", girl says yes, they get embarrassed around each other for the rest of the year. No actual contact as far as I could glean from her anyway. Just a reminder that she was continuing in her rocket like ascent into adolescence and I don't like it one bit!
Onto swimwear...cause Puxnatawney Phil does not know what he's talking about, six more weeks of winter...spring is March 20th, that's just about..6 ....weeks............away...heeeeeeey....wait a second....
Anyway, the tops I thought would fit...did not. There was barely enough material to cover my pinky let alone a foob....ok...there was a bit more than that...but not much! Sooo, the hunt for swimwear 2010 continues unfortunately, luckily everyone is putting stuff out now and...and this is key...I am willing to go look at myself in a mirror in a swimsuit right now so it might actually work!
Last but not least.....I think I have kind of gotten to the point where I have not forgotten per se but....I am not always aware...that's not quite it....just, it isn't what defines me anymore, the cancer I mean, so while I can never forget sometimes I don't remember, and yes I know that is absurd but…go with me, I haven't ever had to do this before:) Besides ...when I am in the zone of just being me again I don't really think about it anymore. But...sometimes it just comes over me....and I suddenly feel it wash over me all over again and I wonder if this will ever go away?
In any case, that's it for today. Hope you all had a good one.
Blog ya later-
K
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